Do you know that uneasy feeling you get when you know you’re about to be put on the spot?
Well, a few days ago I experienced it up close and personal. I was at my small group from church. There are about 24 adults that have forged a really great bond; we meet weekly. During our last meeting, before we broke for the summer, one of the leaders, Rob said, Hey, I’m getting tickets to an Atlanta Braves baseball game. We can tailgate and hang out, it will be great!? Then he proceeds to survey the room, asking everyone individually if they are all in, to get together and have some fun.
Fortunately, he starts to his left with his on-the-spot survey. This means there are about 22 other people that have to answer before he calls on me. My mind goes off to the races, I start thinking that I would rather watch paint dry than watch baseball. And then, I start thinking about how hot it is in Atlanta in July. At this point, Rob is about halfway through the survey and everyone is saying they would love to go, sounds like a great idea, one over-achiever even said, sounds like a great way to grow our community.?
Now the pressure is mounting, I’m realizing that I may be the only person that thinks this is a terrible way to spend a Friday evening. And then it happens? Everyone has said YES! Rob looks at me, the group is looking at me, and I take a deep breath, I summon the inner courage to swim upstream, to break from the pack, to be that dreaded individual that is oftentimes labeled disagreeable. I said, No, but thanks for the invite. Would love to participate in a different activity next time?
At this point, I really need to explain that I am not some anti-social person who doesn’t participate in group dynamics. I’m actually someone who has just decided to learn from my experience and then make a different decision. You see, a few years ago my husband convinced me to attend a tailgating baseball party, he said that it would be fun. Well listen, Linda, fun is very relative. Never in my adult life had I experienced such extreme boredom and excessive bra sweat just by sitting in a chair watching grown men swing, spit, run; repeat.
You see, there is such beauty in the benefit of having been there, done that. I already knew that if I said Yes to Rob against my better judgment, I would have become borderline resentful; slightly annoyed at myself to have my precious Friday evening hostage to something that was clearly not serving me well.
3 Ways To protect your YES and have the courage to say NO:
1. Have the courage to grow beyond peer pressure.
Sure it would have been easy to just say I wanted to attend the game because that’s what everyone else was doing. But, what is the point in going with the flow, if the flow isn’t taking you where you want and/or need to go? Have the courage to make your happiness a priority over peer pressure.
2. Frustration comes from voluntary obligation.
We’ve all done it in various forms. We volunteer for things that are going to rob us of our valuable time, take us off course and downright distract us. Perhaps, it’s because we want to be liked, we want to be nice, we may even think it’s just the right thing to do. But how can it be the right thing to do, if it’s all wrong for you?
3. You are able to serve others by serving yourself.
It’s the reason why they tell you on the airplane to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. If all of your free time is dictated by unnecessary activities simply because you couldn’t say no, How will you have time to refresh, nurture or create the life of your dreams?
Do you need to revisit the things you said yes to? Want to get clarity around your priorities and set purposeful goals? Let’s talk, Click here:?Application