Have you noticed that stressed out, overwhelmed, and having a lack of time has become the professional woman’s new normal?
Well, I have and I can promise you I have heard every reason under the sun that we use to justify our lack of peace and ability to really focus on the things that matter.
But, how awesome would it be to stop trying to be all things to all people?? Where you don’t take on the weight of the world and you get selective of what you can and should try to solve. To ditch the Wonder Woman costume and just purpose to become the best version of yourself with the time and energy to fight the correct battles and serve purposeful, impactful things that bring value.
And as much as I am fully aware of the simple truth that every burden is not meant for us to carry. I had a painful reminder of this very fact recently. My husband Bradie, who I might add is an extremely educated man with multiple degrees, did something that wasn’t very wise. He went all day without eating but took medication on an empty stomach and then tried to brave the outdoor heat in Atlanta. He got lightheaded and came inside to take a shower.
I noticed a dazed look on his face as he got in the shower so I jumped in to try and help him. The problem is Bradie is a big guy. He is 6’4″ tall and is double my weight. Even with the best intentions, I was no match for a free-falling Bradie. He fainted and I tried to hold him up but was outmatched; we both ended up in a heap on our bathroom floor. Fortunately, Bradie is fine but the look on his face when he came to, naked and on the bathroom floor with me was priceless. He was quite confused and because I have a really wicked sense of humor I said, “Be more careful with who you shower with, you never know what can happen.“
Later in the evening, my back and a few other places really began to hurt from trying to hold Bradie up. And guess who ended up needing medical attention after the fall? You guessed it, yours truly. As I sat in the doctor’s office hearing my prognosis, I started thinking about how ridiculous it is to try and take on the weight of something that is clearly more than we were meant to bear.
But how do you shift from trying to be a superhero but failing miserably; to being a Brave New Woman that experiences the desires of heart, that serves others, and basically runs her race to win?
To be a Brave New Woman consider the following:
1. Successful women choose their battles very wisely.
One of the best female attributes is found in our natural ability to nurture, to help; to think of others before we think of ourselves. This is a great thing until it isn’t. And having spent countless hours coaching successful women one of the common themes I notice is their uncanny ability to use a very keen sense of discernment for which battles are worthwhile. And you do this by considering the benefits before entering the fight. Will the spoils of war be worth the effort? They have clarity around the things that warrant their time and attention and the things that are better served with their prayers.
2. Putting the oxygen mask on yourself first isn’t selfish; it’s wisdom.
Have you ever had so much on your plate, so much on the to-do list that you were so far down on the priority list that you never got to it? Well, I have and I can tell you for a fact, that it’s a habit you can’t sustain over a long period of time. Sure, life happens and for a temporary period of time, you have to pour out to address an unexpected occurrence. Sick children, aging parents, just all the crap that can come our way. But when you intentionally live without ever putting the oxygen mask on yourself first, you will run out of air. Accomplishing great things means you recognize the value of developing, growing, and breathing for yourself first so that you can have maximum output for everyone else.
3. Exhaustion isn’t about what you’re doing.
It’s about what you’re trying to control. Ambitious bold women that live on purpose have a really hard time releasing control. How can I make such a declarative statement? Because I’m guilty as charged. Before I learned how self-sabotaging my need for control was, I tried to control everything in my orbit. I mean, after all, nobody can do it as well, as timely, and to our standards right? Wrong! Trying to control everything causes you to carry an unnecessary load, trip up on things, and generally wear yourself down. Learn how to let go, delegate, and know that you’re far more effective when you are doing what you do well, but empowering those around you to step up and utilize the gifts they’ve been given.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is the absolute awareness that Wonder Woman is entertainment, not something to emulate. That trying to take on extra weight by fighting senseless battles, by trying to please and recuse everyone without doing anything to improve yourself, you will end up doing more harm than good; possibly vulnerable, hurt, and naked.
Are you living the Wonder Woman Syndrome by trying to be a superhero to everyone but yourself?? Let’s schedule a FREE life-changing coaching conversation.
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