The Ultimate Guide to Getting a Guy to Treat You Better

Do you wanna find out how to get a guy to treat you right? I will tell you that the number one thing is the fact that we, as women, fail to set relationship boundaries. 

I was as guilty as anyone because my personal challenge was that I didn’t have good self-worth or self-esteem. So I didn’t even think I deserved to set relationship boundaries. 

I thought, “Who am I to set boundaries or to have standards? I have to just tolerate anything, right?”

That was my issue.

 

Hey, ladies! I’m Stacey Speller, a relationship and dating expert, and I help ambitious women like you achieve the life and love that you deserve!

So let’s get into those relationship boundaries!

How does self-worth tie into relationship boundaries?

You’ve got to have good self-worth to know that you are worthy of setting boundaries and having standards. When you set those boundaries, it’s basically just having that baseline of how you expect and want to be treated.

The challenge is that we assume people should know our boundaries. We assume that when we meet a guy, he should automatically know your standards. Things like,  “Don’t call me at three o’clock in the morning” or  “Don’t call me up at the last minute for a date like I’m just the last resort.”.

This is unfair for the person you’re seeing and it’s something that you do need to unlearn. You don’t know what experience he comes to the table with so you have no idea what he considers normal operating procedures and what he considers a standard. 

That’s why you must be willing to set those relationship boundaries. 

Because I will tell you this,  I coach a lot of women who didn’t start offsetting relationship boundaries or setting the foundation of standards. Then, they have to try and unravel all of the relationship challenges that occur. 

It’s so much easier when you can start setting those standards, setting those relationship boundaries, and avoiding some of the most hurtful and upsetting relationship mistakes.

Be bold enough to say: This is what I expect. This is what I like. This is what I appreciate. 

You know ladies, sometimes we expect men to read our minds. Well, they aren’t mind readers which is why you have to establish your relationship standards and set those boundaries and say, “Hey, I like to plan out my time. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t call me at the last minute and ask me to do something”.

Or tell him, “I like to be able to have a conversation and I’m not trying to build a meaningful relationship through text message” or whatever it is that you like.

 

Enforcing boundaries

Then comes the next step. Once you are able to set those relationship boundaries, you have to enforce them. 

You can’t try to establish the boundaries but then refuse to enforce them. For example, if a guy sends you a text message at like 11:45 at night and you go to bed at 10 pm, you can’t just let it pass. It isn’t okay for either of you to sabotage the boundaries you’ve set for your relationship.

But you must be the one to speak up and say that you would really appreciate it if he would value your preferences and boundaries. 

Then give concrete examples to reinforce what you want, what you like, and what is acceptable. These kinds of conversations can be uncomfortable, but if he truly is the quality guy for you, he’ll understand. In fact, he’ll know to do better next time.

Enforcing those boundaries may be difficult, but it’s always better for your relationship in the long term.

Now, if this is something you struggle with.

I’d love to hear from you! Because I can relate. There was a time where even I wasn’t comfortable setting relationship boundaries myself.

But maybe you’re not confident even being able to say no. This isn’t something to be embarrassed about because it happens to a lot of people. Although, it is something that you’ll have to resolve as well.

Oftentimes, we struggle with being able to say no, and you accept an invitation to do something. When it doesn’t work out or you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, you’ll find yourself feeling resentful. Then when you’re caught up in those feelings of resentment, you end up thinking, “Why did I accept this? Why am I tolerating this?”

So before you get into that space, set your relationship up for success by setting some boundaries and some standards and then articulating. Not to be mean. Not to be confrontational, and definitely not to be demanding.

But just to say, “Hey, here’s who I am. Here’s what I like. Here’s what I appreciate.”

It’s what you deserve and most importantly, what you’re worthy of.

I promise you this: if you set boundaries right from the beginning, you will be so glad that you did! 

What happens if I didn’t set boundaries? Is it too late?

If you did not and now that’s something you need to do, then it’s totally okay for you to still do so. You’re within your right to set boundaries that you failed to set at the beginning. It’s never too late to find a better and healthier way to communicate your relationship needs with your partner.

It just takes your willingness to be able to say you’ve learned better now and that you want to do better. Now you want to and can make a different and better-informed decision.

I always say that when you’re presented with better information, you can make a different and better decision. And now that you’ve learned something new, that decision is something that you can and are capable of making now.

I’d love to hear from you if this is something you struggle with. We can talk about that or if you’ve learned how to set relationship boundaries that have been really helpful to you, please share them in the comments.

 

 

If this is something you would like to get additional help with, you can always download my FREE Guide here or drop me a comment down below!

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